Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize