bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
