Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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