Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
