It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
