So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
