how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
