between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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