i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
