People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
