dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
