dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
