Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
