I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
