Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
