People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
