Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
