Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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