i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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