Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
