quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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