on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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