Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
