I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
