your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
