So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
