dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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