Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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