i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He felt like a one man threesome
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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