yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
