She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
