i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
