He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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