her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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