Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
