I wanna bring you to show and tell
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
