Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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