Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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