Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
