There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize