He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you win again, gameday.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
