Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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