he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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