I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
