How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
