Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
smell my finger.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
