i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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