I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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