Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
