Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are we still banned from the library?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
