walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
