I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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