I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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