You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will pee on everything he values.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
