dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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