just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
