dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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