There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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