Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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