If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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