Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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