and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
